I'd love to write and tell you that you have nothing to worry about, but I have to be honest and admit that you are right. You most likely are NOT patient enough right now to homeschool your children. Sad, but true.
You may not always have the patience to:
Deal with the house being messed up throughout the day. People actually living and working in a space tends to mean more mess, more books, more projects, more dirt, etc… Diligently train them to help clean the house because you'll soon discover that you need all hands on deck in order to keep things running. Diligently train them to respect your authority. Teach when you are having a bad day. Teach them when they are having a bad day. Research, research, research for the `perfect' curriculum. (hahahaha…) Teach your child something, only to realize that they still don't get it after you've tried several different ways to explain it and ordered 2 or 3 different programs. Handle yet another melt-down because they don't understand something. Multi-task cooking dinner, answering algebra questions, negotiating a sibling argument all while another child practices piano.And the list could go on…
But if you give up on the possibility of homeschooling because you aren't patient enough than you might just miss out on:
The joy of seeing your child really `get it' after they've struggled to learn something new. Cuddling on the couch in the middle of the day to read and make memories together. The tight bond that forms between siblings when they must learn how to get along. Seeing a breakthrough with a child who was having those meltdowns. Seeing the fruit of the day-in-day-out parenting work. Addressing conflict head-on and learning how to work in the midst of it. Helping your children learn how to work through conflict. Seeing a child apologize for their lack of patience because they've seen you model that. Realizing that {character} lessons for him are also lessons for you. Experiencing character growth yourself. Learning to laugh.If you wait to start anything challenging until you have perfect patience you won't do anything at all. We need to remember that patience is forged through perseverance. Patience is not some inborn trait. No, patience is developed.
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. James 1:2-3
Before I had children, I seemed to be quite patient. And then, I became a parent… Parenting in and of itself is character building. Homeschooling just amplifies this.
If you are considering homeschooling, the primary question you need to ask is whether or not God wants you to do it? If the answer is a hearty YES, than know that He is going to grow your patience along the way!
So, what to do in those moments when patience is running thin:
Pray, Pray, Pray. When it feels like your day is getting hijacked, you need to be purposeful in prayer. It really beats other `coping mechanisms.'
Rejoice when opportunities arise to grow in patience. Trust me, they'll crop up and rejoicing at the opportunity is going to be much more pleasant and productive than drowning in condemnation.
Recognize the training opportunity. Oftentimes impatience on our part is triggered because we haven't faithfully trained them to do something. We set the tone for the home, the routine and the expectations for behavior. If we are impatient, sometimes it can be because we just need to go back to the `basics' and teach them what is expected and how to do it.
Be Cheerful. Being intentional to say something in a cheerful tone and with a smile on my face really helps me shelve the snarly when it arises.
Put yourself in their shoes… Sometimes I'll catch a glimpse in my child's eye when I'm not being very patient. It takes me instantly back to my own childhood and a time when I was hurt or frustrated by my mom's lack of patience. It helps to try and see things from their perspective.
You Don't Have To Do It All. While we want to embrace opportunities to grow, we can also recognize triggers. There was a brief time growing up when my mom tried to teach me piano. It didn't go over well. She decided the frustration wasn't worth it and quickly found a piano teacher. So pray and discern areas where you need to grow in patience and areas where it might be wise to find outside help.
As a homeschool graduate, I wanted to encourage you that it is OK that you don't have perfect patience. Really. I grew up with an incredible mom, but she certainly wasn't patient all the time. I know the pain and frustration of trying to figure out how to make her happy when she was impatient with us and yet I also watched her diligently turn to God time and time again for help. And you know what? That is what stands out to me now. Instead of the times when she failed, I remember her crying in her room with her Bible open. I remember her coming to us and asking for forgiveness. I remember her encouragement as we all worked as a family in navigating how to live and learn together in harmony. I remember wanting to grow up to become like her.
She grew through the homeschool process and now I'm on my own `growing in patience' journey. I'm grateful for love and grace. I'm thankful for boys who are quick to forgive. I'm thankful for a new day to grow together as a family pursuing the fruit of the Spirit in our lives.
And I'm praying for your journey too!
"May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light." Colossians 1:11
